How to work from home with toddlers
Working from home with toddlers is not exactly the easiest thing to do. Entertaining toddlers is a full-time job in itself. I’ve been working from home for the past two years and it's been a rollercoaster, to say the least.
I’ve tried all the things to find a routine that allows me to be present with my children, grow my business and take little moments throughout the day for myself.
What I’ve found is that I have to have an open mind and be flexible with my schedule. Couple that with the strategies I have tested over the past two years, and I have curated some tips that helps to keep everyone on track.
Ask for help!
This is one that I really struggled with for a long time.
I’m not exactly one to ask for help. I really pride myself on being independent and doing things on my own. I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. If there’s something I don’t know, I am going to find a way to learn it and I do love a good DIY project. Perhaps that is why I wanted to start a web design business…
Let’s backtrack to when I started my business in January 2020. I was at home with my two sons who were three and just about one at the time.
We were still in lockdown in the midst of Covid and I found myself craving a project for myself.
My mat leave has just ended and I needed a way to make money from home.
I would like to say it was as easy as deciding I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but it took a lot of reflection and hard work to get my virtual business off the ground.
When I was pregnant with my third sweet little, I had to admit to myself something that I knew for a long time… I needed help.
For a long time, I felt like I was failing, like I wasn’t doing a good enough job despite giving my everything EVERY SINGLE DAY. Then something miraculous happened … I started to prioritize myself.
I started getting more sleep (thank you Jack for starting to sleep through the night), I allowed myself to build a vision for my future that involved being a women small business owner and I knew I had unlocked potential that I needed to tap into.
I planned for my third postpartum experience to be a little bit different this time around.
Instead of pouring my everything into my kids, I took small moments throughout the day to rediscover things that I love doing.
It started off small with listening to a podcast or drinking a cup of tea during the week, to carving out intentional time just for myself every Saturday afternoon.
I arranged to have my mother-in-law and mom come out to help me when I would be the most tender, healing from the birth of my beautiful baby girl.
I knew I couldn’t do it all - take care of two toddlers, nourish a small little human and still take care of myself.
What was different this time was, that I didn’t want to do it all alone. I wanted to be surrounded by people who loved me. I wanted my boys to have a special time with their grandma’s because living in a different city than family brings unique challenges that I never expected prior to having kids.
I felt like it was my responsibility to be with my kids 24/7 and that I didn’t want others to have to watch my kids in case they might have challenging behaviour. I took this to the extreme and I even didn’t want my husband to deal with anything that would be hard when it came to the kids.
I am so grateful to have done a total 360 on my mindset.
When I finally asked for help, I realized that to be the best version of myself when I need to invest time in taking care of myself.
I realized that people truly, genuinely want to help and that motherhood is not something I have to do alone.
I was amazed by how much energy I got back when I started focusing on learning new skills and building something from the ground up just for me.
To all the mamas at home with babies and toddlers, it is ok to ask for help. It doesn’t make you a bad mom or weak, it makes you stronger and more whole.
When you want to work arrange to have family members or a sitter watch your child(ren) so that you have uninterrupted time to work.
Ask your spouse to do bedtime so you can work for a few hours in the evening.
Wake up before the kids and enjoy a cup of coffee while you work. Not only will you get the energy boost from the caffeine but you will feel accomplished before your day even starts.
Set priorities
I’ve tried probably every different project management system you can think of.
When I first started out as a mom entrepreneur I felt like I was grabbing at every free resource I could get my hands on and to be frank it left me feeling overwhelmed.
I only had 2-3 hours a day to work on my business and complete client work. I didn’t want to spend my precious time feeling confused and overwhelmed, I wanted to make a difference.
The tool I use to keep track of everything business related is Trello.
I used it before starting my own business and I still use it today.
I also write a lot of things down. There’s nothing like being able to write things down and check them off my list. I am also a visual learner, I like to be able to see things and doing everything virtually just wasn’t working for me.
My husband and I were talking about this recently and I think it really has to do with being able to physically check things off of my list.
I also started writing my priorities and weekly task on sticky notes.
My sticky notes live in our dining room. This is where I spend a lot of my time.
Having my sticky notes out in the open reminds me of what I need to be working on. It also makes it really easy to throw up another sticky note when an idea comes to mind.
What I’ve found works the best for me is breaking up my goals and tasks at the beginning of each month.
I need to keep this list simple and it needs to be goals that are important to me now.
For example, for the month of September (the month I’m writing this post) I gave myself three goals to accomplish by the end of the month:
Set up an email list
Reach out to 100 potential clients
Write two blog posts
I like to start with 2-3 bigger goals that I would like to accomplish by the end of the month.
At the beginning of each week, I sit down and take just ten minutes to plan out my week. Writing out what I want to accomplish and assigning the tasks to each day.
Since I work 2-3 hours I need to use my time wisely and *try* not to overextend myself. The trouble is I always think I can accomplish more than I actually can in reality.
When I can’t get to a task and it keeps getting pushed back day after day, it gives me the chance to re-evaluate the task and either carve the time out to complete the task, move the task back, or remove it from my list altogether.
This process has truly been such a game-changer.
I find that being able to see what I accomplished in a week gives me a confidence boost. I can physically see that I’ve made progress toward my goals and it motivates me to keep moving forward.
When I first started out, I literally was trying out 2 or 3 different systems at the same time. I had lists everywhere - on the notes app on my phone, written out on random sheets of paper and scattered on several different Trello boards. I was stressed out all the time and I felt like I was failing ALL THE TIME!
I have my husband to thank for getting me on track. Saturday mornings we would be sitting drinking our morning coffee while the kids played around us and I would be talking about how I was so lost when it came to growing my business. Over many long talks and tears, I finally took him up on his advice and implemented a system that worked for me.
He was instrumental in helping me realize that I was giving myself way too much to do in such a short amount of time.
On one of my sticky notes, I have my work time priorities listed. I was grateful to say goodbye to wasting my precious work time not knowing what I needed to work on, and instead embraced being able to sit down and crank out my work.
For me, my work time priorities look like this:
Client work
Reaching out to potential dreamy clients
Marketing (Instagram and blog)
Miscellaneous business tasks
This simple list 99.9% of the time keeps me on track to reaching my goals and I no longer feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what I should be doing next.
Set up activities for kids to do
It’s inevitable sometimes I have to work when the kids are up. Whether the baby is going through one of her notorious growth spurts or my toddler is home sick from preschool, sometimes I need to be able to work during the day.
This is a game of patience and honestly, it changes every day. It depends on how much sleep everyone has had the day before, and the age and abilities of my toddlers.
My go-to activities for the kids are:
Colouring
Watching a tv show or movie
Playing with cars/small toys
Setting up a sensory bin
Building blocks
Setting up a train track
As the kids have gotten older, it has gotten easier to work while they’re home. They are starting to have their own interests and their attention span is longer.
For the moms with babies or younger toddlers, my advice is a little different. With a 3-month-old at home, I absolutely need to be flexible.
I work when she is napping and after she goes to bed.
Her awake periods are still so short that by the time she’s eaten, played and I have changed her bum she is ready to go back to sleep.
I also choose to work from home so that I Can be there with my babies, which means my schedule is really built around their schedule. If you have a baby or small toddler at home I 10000% know what that’s like and all I can say is take it day by day. Set up a loose schedule and if you don’t get any work done one day there is always tomorrow! Soak up all those little moments of snuggles and know that you can work more as they get older.
I also want to add this reminder because we all need to hear this often when working from home with kids. You can have the greatest intentions of planning out a day with carefully planned activities so you can work but most likely it is not going to look like how you planned it to be.
You might spend all this time setting up a new craft for the kids only to be interrupted by snack requests, questions about what you’re doing and bathroom breaks.
I swear as soon as I get out my computer (even when the kids are occupied and happily playing on their own) they always make an appearance.
I never hear mommy being called more than when I get set up to work.
After the fact, it’s funny to look back and see how my kids wanted to show me everything they were playing with and tell me all about their latest interests but at the moment it's overwhelming!
I have, have, have to keep an open mind and be patient, because I want to develop a healthy relationship with my kids when it comes to me working. I want to set up boundaries that work for everyone.
Work when kids are at school/care/napping/sleeping
Just last year my oldest started attending preschool and he was also in a one-week gymnastics camp over the summer. I was grateful because while he was at camp my younger two napped at the same time.
This was such a treat! I felt like I could get so much accomplished with the focused, quiet time to work. It also meant I didn’t have to work late into the night to keep on top of everything.
A rested mom = a happy mom IYKYK.
Bonus! When you’ve already set up the tasks you need to accomplish at the beginning of the week you can really take advantage of this focused time.
Take care of mom
This is probably the MOST IMPORTANT thing that I do to work from home.
I found out with my second son that I NEED sleep. I was severely sleep-deprived when he was a baby. I had a hard time doing anything, never mind trying to set goals and strategize how to accomplish those goals.
I have come to recognize that when I’m tired and haven’t spent any time on myself, I’ve got about zero patience for anything, I’m one cracky mama and I obsess about things I have no control over.
When this happens I need to sleep ASAP.
It’s amazing how a good nap or a long night’s sleep can make me feel like a brand-new person.
I’m able to enjoy being around my kids more, meaning I get to have more focused intentional time with them.
My creativity flourishes and I can accomplish so much more than if I kept running on empty. I guess there is a reason why we’re always told to fill our bucket first.
Sometimes though, sleep alone is not enough.
That’s when I know I need to carve some intentional time just for myself. Whether that means watching tv I want to watch in bed, or practicing yoga.
I check in with myself to see what I need the most to be nourished.
Sometimes it means eating a really good meal or having a really great conversation with a friend or family member.
Sometimes it is all the above!! I never know what’s going to help at the moment and I like that I have a list of things to fall back on when I’m burnt out and have no energy to think.
All I can say is that every day is different. As my family changes and grows I know that I can continue to move forward because I have built a solid foundation that does more than finding a work-life balance but truly integrates me as a whole person.
